44 Comments
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Jeanne Vessantra's avatar

I read this poem over dark French ambient music. Somewhere between the words and the shadows, I found another entrance to the dark heaven of desire.

MoTy's avatar
7dEdited

Must have been below tenth floor, Jeanne. Thank you x

Olly von's avatar

this reminds me of a beautiful woman entangled in an affair with a man of high stature and they go out to dinner and everyone is hard core staring because they know she’s the other woman and she feels a little ashamed but also wanted and dangerous it’s such a delight for me to find the story I perceive in your writing knowing others who read it may glean something else entirely and you probably wrote it with something else in mind

MoTy's avatar

Love how this unfolds. The scene is set to burn. Thank you @Olly von x

L.O.Campbell's avatar

The brilliance of this piece lies in how the structure carries the emotion. The language feels transactional, coded, almost machine-like, yet beneath it sits something deeply human: longing, shame, performance, and self-invention. By the time “none.of.it.happened;” returns, it reads less as denial and more as survival. An inventive and memorable poem.

MoTy's avatar

Thank you, L.O., for taking the time with this piece. We actually crossed paths on one of my very first pieces. Glad to see you back now that I’m a little stronger x

lchristopher's avatar

skin dressed amuse bouche size 9 yes please

MoTy's avatar

one amuse bouche coming up sir. mains might finish you off x

Ray Sweatman's avatar

I feel like im observing a surrealist painting in which the subject is eating herself

MoTy's avatar

Assuming this still falls within the established theme. Thank you @Ray Sweatman x

20th Century Fox's avatar

Absolutely delicious

MoTy's avatar

Thank you Foxy x

Gan's avatar

forensic cataloguing of alienation, anticipating consequence, struck from the record

Jaap Stijl's avatar

Juxtaposed with the sounds of heat slowly enveloping me here, the syntax of this piece feels like evidence tags recovered from some sort a damaged memory. I particularly liked the way luxury, illness, desire and absence keep colliding throughout the piece, the way it should. Bravo!

MoTy's avatar

I'm running out of ways to say this, but: thank you, thank you, thank you x

Miles Hack's avatar

Sultry liquor, numerically deceived…

… some of these lines had so much within them. Well done!

MoTy's avatar

Glad you think so @Miles Hack. Gratitude x

Miles Hack's avatar

Likewise!

Soulhunting's avatar

A pause comes with your writing. It's clinical, glassy, dissociated.

The repeated none.of.it.happened lands as ritual of denial (or a mix of nausea and glamour?), the tone of being gaslit or of gaslighting oneself to survive the evening. Absolutely loved it!

This one is right up there with the liturgy ones!

MoTy's avatar

You’re such a careful reader Soulhunting.

That’s right, the wound exposure sits right there with both liturgies. It’s been a while, though, and you remembered. My heart melted x

Soulhunting's avatar

They were my favorite! You keep out doing yourself! :)

MoTy's avatar

I consider them a turning point. Glad you like them too. Sending love x

Lotte Kestner's avatar

Ooh this is powerful

MoTy's avatar

Ooh, thank you @Lotte Kestner x

Michael John Hulley II's avatar

“tight.thighs(certified);”

“tooth.chipped(on.someone.else’s.flute);”

none.of.it.happened;”

“simulacrum”

“fringe”

did you change “an.ally”?

evocative - and absolutely boom, as always, M 🙂

MoTy's avatar

Had to change it, my brain couldn’t switch that off. Grand return of the fringe. Will never forget 🙂 x

Michael John Hulley II's avatar

I’m really sorry about that - I certainly didn’t mean for you to change your work.

Indeed haha 🙂 x

MoTy's avatar

No, no. You’re absolutely right. I found it hilarious 🙂 x

Michael John Hulley II's avatar

Oh, that’s good. I was a little worried there 😊 x

wildflower's avatar

none.of.it.happened;“ 🖤🖤🖤

Untamed Eulogy's avatar

A banquet of appearances and a famine of belonging. Every line leaves a bruise.

underneath it speaks of loneliness, exclusion, and emotional hunger. So impactful written!

Every time you write in this syntax format, I’m left speechless and in awe. With my IT software development background, I instinctively understand and appreciate the structure behind it. Whenever you write this way, it feels like reconnecting with something I’ve always loved, as if it’s come alive again right before my eyes.

I just love it and love it ♥️

MoTy's avatar

Can’t say thank you enough. Sending love right back at you Untamed Eulogy ❤️

Bertold Lagaro's avatar

skin.dressed(amuse-bouche);

....

none.of.it.happened;

First and last. In between all it happens with an excellent provocative insight. You bend syntax-we must kneel.

MoTy's avatar

Amused-bouche B. but we both know you kneel to no one unless all.of.it.happened x

Bertold Lagaro's avatar

Hard to disagree

Luna💫's avatar

Ooooh fine dining à la morgue? Delicious. 🍽️ Though, relieved there’s no flambé on the menu 🖤✨

MoTy's avatar

This is 10/10 comment @Luna💫. Can’t stop laughing x