Mo, I’ve read and re-read this.. each time unearthing a new bruise. Maybe it’s my own current state, but this one sits heavier, lead sediments sinking, layering, settling deep.. It’s like non-linear catastrophe, played on loop… nervous system log file, trauma overload, system crash, point of failure, no rebound 💔
So much pain here MoTy, but you carry it like the shield of a true warrior about to go into battle knowing that the end isn’t the worst thing that can happen. A spark of hope in the dark
'gunmetal.sternum(flowering.open)' does it for me, so many different assault lines. I thought about those sternal retractors pulling it all apart to get to the heart..
I write at The Reflective State, meandering through reflection, humour, travel, history and fiction. If curiosity brings you my way, I'd love to know what you think.
your poem kept coming back to me afterwards because it never felt like it was trying to become readable again. it trusted the broken rhythm instead. that made me think of something i wrote a while back.
i published a little debut novel last month called the signals you ignore. it keeps returning to a similar question... how the experiences that change us most often refuse to fit neatly into ordinary language or ordinary explanations.
if u ever fancy reading it, i'd be really happy to send u a complimentary ebook. no pressure at all... u just came to mind after reading sternum() 😊
your mind is a beautiful abyss of imagery and connections. the way the words are disjointed yet held together by punctuation always intrigues me. stunning.
Mo, I’ve read and re-read this.. each time unearthing a new bruise. Maybe it’s my own current state, but this one sits heavier, lead sediments sinking, layering, settling deep.. It’s like non-linear catastrophe, played on loop… nervous system log file, trauma overload, system crash, point of failure, no rebound 💔
I’ve been ambiguous on purpose. More psychologically elusive. Risky but worth it. Thank you Lu, always looking forward to your comments x
How do you do it? It’s magick.
xx, Sylvie
Don’t really know how all this happens. Thank you Sylvie xx
So much pain here MoTy, but you carry it like the shield of a true warrior about to go into battle knowing that the end isn’t the worst thing that can happen. A spark of hope in the dark
Thank you so much @John Sheils. Always appreciate your words x
My pleasure MoTy
'gunmetal.sternum(flowering.open)' does it for me, so many different assault lines. I thought about those sternal retractors pulling it all apart to get to the heart..
With you on the visuals Jaap. Finding the way in, retractors aided. Gracias x
Clear emotional trajectory. What has been opened cannot be closed again; What happened refuses to become past tense. unbuttoned(unable.to.unlearn)
On point. As always x
“screams.qualified;” Two words, and suddenly the piece has rules, containment, judgement.
But that final “said.your.name(three.times);” ADHESIVE!
After all that clinical, coded language, something painfully human survives the syntax.
Clever stuff.
Experimental! Visceral! Unsettling! I'M SUBSCRIBING!
I write at The Reflective State, meandering through reflection, humour, travel, history and fiction. If curiosity brings you my way, I'd love to know what you think.
Appreciate it, thank you so much. Will make sure to check your page too x
You are just too good!!
Thank you so much @Mara Ellison x
You’re welcome 🫶🏻🌻
i like how even the syntax refuses to become fluent again. it feels like the language remembers something the speaker is still trying to survive 💚
Such a lovely comment, thank you so much x
hey moty💚
really glad my comment found u.
your poem kept coming back to me afterwards because it never felt like it was trying to become readable again. it trusted the broken rhythm instead. that made me think of something i wrote a while back.
i published a little debut novel last month called the signals you ignore. it keeps returning to a similar question... how the experiences that change us most often refuse to fit neatly into ordinary language or ordinary explanations.
if u ever fancy reading it, i'd be really happy to send u a complimentary ebook. no pressure at all... u just came to mind after reading sternum() 😊
Congrats on your debut novel. I’m intrigued. Send it over please x
thank u moty 💚 really glad it found u. i've just sent everything over in a DM 😊
I didn’t get it. Check please x
would you kindly send me a test DM pls
the dark, beauteous enigma continues…
“payment(handful.of.hair);”
‘invaginated’ - new word for me - thanks for that.
Boom! And most excellent, as always, M 🙂 x
Happy to have served at least one new word in exchange for many of yours M. And so it continues…x
I’m thoroughly happy with the exchange too.
And so it continues… 🙂 x
another gorgeous piece <3
running out of thank yous. hugs? x
your mind is a beautiful abyss of imagery and connections. the way the words are disjointed yet held together by punctuation always intrigues me. stunning.
Thank you so much @𝚋𝚞𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕 x
When I arrive here.there
At the
two.seconds.fall
It’s usually not an accidental but a very >
purposeful.annihilation; 🩸
You’re absolutely right @Bougie Hippie, at the 2s nothing is accidental x
g-zus, momo. reading this makes me
(want)(to)(get)(the)(fuck) (out
of there. asap.
and make the dive for room eight,
sheesh.
pen n. room eight awaits, carpet rolled out, drinks in the chiller x
Sacred 3,7 mystical numbers held within your structure. Feels it leading to mystical truth held hidden within plan sight but not named. ♠️♠️♠️
Thanks Sevda, just read about the meaning behind the numbers. Sending love🖤
Sometimes we hold hidden wisdom we don’t even know it♠️🐦⬛🦅
payment(handful.of.hair);
cotton.tissues(wet.preserved);
I'm eviscerated, M. uok x
I’m ok. Thank you T.x
Gonna rap this over some 808s